I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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