What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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