Tell her she can't have a vagina
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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