Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
