She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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