This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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