Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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