Who did Billy Mays play for?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
