So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Idk if I want to put a bra on
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
