Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
