the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
