i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Randomize
