Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
