someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
