drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
