I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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