i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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