I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Randomize
