You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
