When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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