is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Randomize
