I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
