I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
my sisters under your porch take her home
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
