You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize