She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Send help, water and tortillas.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
