So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
