apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
