Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Randomize
