Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
