Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
