everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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