there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
