we're blogging at a bar
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
