the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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