I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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