Only a mothe r could love this liver
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Sorry about my life...
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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