FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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