blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
