i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
