I looked at my own cervix.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Randomize
