Bisexual people are plain selfish.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
