first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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