I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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