He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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