Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Randomize