my room smells like sperm. sweet.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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