And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize