found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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