I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
