He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
My vagina is officially offended.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
