everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
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