I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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