I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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