Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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