The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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