Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I CAN MOONWALK!
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
