I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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