so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
