I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Randomize
