it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Randomize
