They have a pepper shaker for pot.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
