I am puke
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
