hell yes lets make some ravioli
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
