My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
