Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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