He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Did I show you my penis last night?
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Randomize
