you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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