He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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